10 Oxymorons That I Find Silly
“We must believe in free will — we have no choice.” – Isaac Bashevis Singer
Oxymoron is a figure of speech wherein contradictory and incongruous words appear in conjunction. Examples include act naturally, random order and open secret. Just like the other types of figures of speech and idioms, oxymorons help to give our language its vitality. However, there are some oxymorons that sound very silly to me. Here, I’ll list ten of the many examples.
1. Airline Schedule – It’s very rare that I don’t experience any delays every time I ride a plane. The delay can span from 10 minutes to 10 hours in my case.
2. Instant Classic – This is just a marketing ploy to lure people to buy their trashy books, music or movies. For a work to be considered a “classic”, it must prove itself against the test of time. Any good book, movie or music has a potential to become classic, but it would take many years before it can happen.
3. Operating System – I hope that this is really true.
4. Microsoft Works – This was a dumb down version of Microsoft Office and was discontinued in 2009. While the phrase is technically not an oxymoron, for me, it is.
5. Unbiased Opinion – There’s no such thing like that. No matter how objective people claim they were, if its an opinion, then it must be biased. It’s as simple as that.
6. Quick Fix – Many people are quite gullible to ads that promise “quick fixes” to their problems. However, in many occasions, those quick fixes can just augment your current problems further.
7. Bureaucratic Efficiency – When I first encountered this word, I really don’t know if I would laugh out loud or just shake my head in incredulity. Seriously, who would believe this bullshit?
8. Minor Crisis – You would always here this phrase uttered by politicians and businessmen to appease their people. In truth, the crisis is already at a catastrophic level but they just don’t want to admit it out loud.
9. Tax Cut – Now this phrase is just crazy, isn’t it?
10. To shut down your computer, first, click on the start button – …