@ 2015-03-01 – 08:30:35
@ 2015-03-01 – 04:27:13
A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.”
“Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested.
The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!”
“What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend.
“I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”
@ 2015-02-27 – 11:09:16
The first time my mother flew, she was a nervous wreck. During takeoff, the roar from the engines proved reassuring—it meant they were working, she reasoned. But when the plane leveled off, so did the engines. Grabbing the armrests, she asked aloud, “Did we stop?”
@ 2015-02-24 – 21:52:19
I received an email from bcuk apologising, claiming it was a mass reply to spam. Really?
To my friends who supported me, thanks very much. I'm back. As I told Elliot I had an unfortunate experience with Google Adsense some years ago - they disabled my account, took my earnings and refused to communicate. At least bcuk have replied and apologised. I will just have to be careful what links I put on my posts. A pity,because I like to share info.
See you later!
@ 2015-02-22 – 06:18:49
A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of a road holding up a sign that reads “The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!”
A passing driver yells, “You guys are nuts!” and speeds past them. From around the curve, they hear screeching tires—then a big splash.
The priest turns to the pastor and says, “Do you think we should just put up a sign that says ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”
@ 2015-02-21 – 10:41:12
Or how we eloped...
When I announced that I was getting married, my excited mother said, “You have to have the rehearsal dinner someplace opulent, where there’s dancing.”
My father, seeing where this was heading, said, “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to elope.”
“And you have to have a breakfast, for the people who are coming from out of town.”
“We’ll need a photographer. Oh, and what colors do you want for the reception?”
We eloped to Spain.
@ 2015-02-17 – 09:30:39
Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. They even have their own vocabulary:
BFF: Best Friend Fainted
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered by Medicare
FWB: Friend with Beta-blockers
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!